...rappers tell me that I lost it here
rocking silk shirts and bondage gear? wrong career
shut up and bounce with it, stop acting counterfiet
if you're uptight, I just might stretch it out a bit
Humpasaur Jones, got standards and substance
the reason I never take advantage of drunk chicks
some guys think stupid is cute
but I'm really not impressed that you puked on my shoes
listen, baby, I got problems of my own
got this Congresswoman calling me and sobbing on my phone
seven pregnant chicks from Asheville to Connecticutt
I'm not kidding, so stop giving me mixed messages
....thanks, but I'm leaving that alone,
skin from the saharas, teeth of navarrone
she's a VD battle zone, death on two legs
so call your travel agent and get the suitcase
...she's working in a circular loop
grooming recruits for future paternity suits (...and that's you)
...the punchline is all about what you didn't know
from the kids at home to the carnivorous forbidden zone
ohhhh...I'm here to teach the kids of today
to learn tricks of the trade, with X-rated visual aids
I been there and back, through the best snares and traps
and survived with my pride and pubic hair intact (applause)
...rappers tell me that I lost it here
rocking silk shirts and bondage gear? wrong career
shut up and bounce with it, stop acting counterfiet
if you're uptight, I just might stretch it out a bit
people disagreeing blows my fucking mind
I'm talking loving life
-- whatchoo doing on the other side?