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Breakup Music

by Humpasaur Jones

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Pub Crawl 03:45
it’s not the bar, it’s the state of mind this ain’t a drink, it’s a place to hide just running tabs and wasting time, wasting time such a warm, comfortable way to die so sad to see these rookie moves...look at you, kid off to pop her olive with your little crooked toothpick yeah, I've played this game before, too, way before you were dropping condoms on the floor of her skanky dorm room but I don't mean to mock your day to day escapades when any man in this place has made the same mistakes, anyways I'll slug a couple shots in a drunken salute cuz in all honesty, kids, I'm probably dumber than you... ...then again, I've never been shackled and cuffed to a girlfriend that I had to get drunk to actually fuck (cork pop) ...then again, I've never been too frightened to piss because the sight of my dick (duck call) reminded my life was at risk sucks to be you, sad, dumb and funny but true with nothing to do but go and blow some money on booze every bar is the same but I'm still carving my name pub crawling away with maybe one dollar remaining... it’s not the bar, it’s the state of mind this ain’t a drink, it’s a place to hide just running tabs and wasting time, wasting time such a warm, comfortable way to die so you try to find a city big enough to drown in it’s easy cuz it only takes a couple hundred thousand the same pretty eyes, same cigarettes and shampoo hall of fame to walk of shame, it’s all the same dance moves working to survive, and searching for a tribe the bonding over booze, all the flirting and the lies that singles scene is vicious - coping with the hopelessness that magic grown up moment when you know your life is over with doesn’t mean you don’t deny it, cuz of course you do numb from all the nothing that you know you’re looking forward to decades of easy outs and closing time reacharounds the drunken sum of all the company you keep around I hate to be that hick with no manners but you ain’t friends, you’re failures with matching low standards and every bar is the same but whatever, don’t sweat it, dude I might be talking shit but I am still sitting next you
The Nothing 02:57
heard you were aiming for the playground and missed... taking a piss in front of neighborhood kids at 8:56 ... AM listen bro, I hope you don't take offense but ever since your lady left, there's been a lot of strange arrests I see you practice mastering the physics of the liquid lunch's hard to talk to cops while you dribble up some little chunks of breakfast, a pretty unexpected way to end the day collapsing on a plastic mattress at eleven twenty eight ... AM yeah, take it hard, take it straight to painful scars don't get doubts involved, just focus on the alcohol don't control your anger, take it out on total strangers don't ever make apologies, escalate it constantly stop going to work, you're just not in the mood stop going outside and stop shopping for food eat pizza for weeks, keep the vodka out to wash it down plus some oxycontin, now...sleep peacefully chief it's an easy mistake thinking we could relate're wrong, buddy see, nobody gives a fuck, that's why therapists cost money, trust me ...breakups are hard, man, I sympathize completely maybe you should try suicide, that's really kinda easy it takes some practice to stay distracted from the naked fact that she will never take you back, it's already fade to black before you face the pain of really changing your life, though let's celebrate the mistakes you could be making tonight, br before we start it off, you should buy the bar a shot or watch your party stop abruptly in the parking lot I’m not a narc or cop, but this should probably end cuz some people want to kill you, like, all of my friends I bet you never tried getting high with high school kids buying ‘em booze to awkwardly act like they like you...DICK a few suggestions, bro, cuz you look like a dude with questions and I don’t have a single fucking clue that you could get with take the cougar in the Daisy Dukes back to the ladies room while a bunch of other drunk and disgusting couples wait for you that's what you need...a lady with a passionate streak who can leave a patch of crabs across the back of your Jeep ...or maybe you'd prefer little Susie Lucifer all she really wants is someone new to shoot up on the roof with her either way, tonight's the night for a cheap mistake so put the tab under Humpasaur Jones and keep the change... dedicated to dudes out stalking their exes that is bitchmade bullshit that cannot be respected if you can’t live without her, you should probably end it cuz you’re basically a waste of your Mommy’s investment
Look Easy 02:30
I talk shit cuz it’s easy to write at least easier than scenes from my life at least easier than sleeping at night when I keep feeding every demon I fight so I keep bleeding but the dreams are alright... ...real shit is real hard to explain I can see my human heart is insane but I believe that you’ve been starting to change trying to speak to you gets harder each day but we persisted with our parts in the play ...I’m really into that monogamy shit always dumb enough to want to commit like love is nothing but a confidence trick but I been dumb as fuck and cocky as shit if I’m honest, that’s all that this is her wide eyes turning away as she tries to hide the hurt in her face that she didn’t have the words to explain so until we give this burden a name let’s keep pretending we don’t learn from mistakes... gave each other just enough space to deny the way we’re wasting our lives a single day at a time like baby, it’s fine...just relax with me zoned out with some mac and cheese and bad TV


This almost didn't happen. Too raw, too weird, too short. Dig it.


released September 2, 2013

lyrics & vocals by Humpasaur Jones
produced & mixed by Dr. Quandary
except for "Funeral Groupies" & "Before Our Days", mixed by Custom for Custom Landscaping
and "The Nothing", produced & mixed by Louis Mackey

original artwork by Tuesday McKay
logo by Memetic Supply Company
executive producers: Louis Mackey & Tuesday McKay




Humpasaur Jones Vermont

The rawest, the dumbest, the most articulated and the least authentic. All bars, zero tolerance.

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