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Breakup Music

by Humpasaur Jones

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This almost didn't happen. Too raw, too weird, too short. Dig it.


released September 2, 2013

lyrics & vocals by Humpasaur Jones
produced & mixed by Dr. Quandary
except for "Funeral Groupies" & "Before Our Days", mixed by Custom for Custom Landscaping
and "The Nothing", produced & mixed by Louis Mackey

original artwork by Tuesday McKay
logo by Memetic Supply Company
executive producers: Louis Mackey & Tuesday McKay



Track Name: Pub Crawl
it’s not the bar, it’s the state of mind
this ain’t a drink, it’s a place to hide
just running tabs and wasting time, wasting time
such a warm, comfortable way to die

so sad to see these rookie moves...look at you, kid
off to pop her olive with your little crooked toothpick
yeah, I've played this game before, too, way before you
were dropping condoms on the floor of her skanky dorm room
but I don't mean to mock your day to day escapades
when any man in this place has made the same mistakes, anyways
I'll slug a couple shots in a drunken salute
cuz in all honesty, kids, I'm probably dumber than you...
...then again, I've never been shackled and cuffed
to a girlfriend that I had to get drunk to actually fuck (cork pop)
...then again, I've never been too frightened to piss
because the sight of my dick (duck call) reminded my life was at risk
sucks to be you, sad, dumb and funny but true
with nothing to do but go and blow some money on booze
every bar is the same but I'm still carving my name
pub crawling away with maybe one dollar remaining...

it’s not the bar, it’s the state of mind
this ain’t a drink, it’s a place to hide
just running tabs and wasting time, wasting time
such a warm, comfortable way to die

so you try to find a city big enough to drown in
it’s easy cuz it only takes a couple hundred thousand
the same pretty eyes, same cigarettes and shampoo
hall of fame to walk of shame, it’s all the same dance moves
working to survive, and searching for a tribe
the bonding over booze, all the flirting and the lies
that singles scene is vicious - coping with the hopelessness
that magic grown up moment when you know your life is over with
doesn’t mean you don’t deny it, cuz of course you do
numb from all the nothing that you know you’re looking forward to
decades of easy outs and closing time reacharounds
the drunken sum of all the company you keep around
I hate to be that hick with no manners
but you ain’t friends, you’re failures with matching low standards
and every bar is the same but whatever, don’t sweat it, dude
I might be talking shit but I am still sitting next you
Track Name: The Nothing
heard you were aiming for the playground and missed...
taking a piss in front of neighborhood kids at 8:56 ... AM
listen bro, I hope you don't take offense
but ever since your lady left, there's been a lot of strange arrests
I see you practice mastering the physics of the liquid lunch's hard to talk to cops while you dribble up some little chunks
of breakfast, a pretty unexpected way to end the day
collapsing on a plastic mattress at eleven twenty eight ... AM

yeah, take it hard, take it straight to painful scars
don't get doubts involved, just focus on the alcohol
don't control your anger, take it out on total strangers
don't ever make apologies, escalate it constantly
stop going to work, you're just not in the mood
stop going outside and stop shopping for food
eat pizza for weeks, keep the vodka out to wash it down
plus some oxycontin, now...sleep peacefully chief

it's an easy mistake thinking we could relate're wrong, buddy
see, nobody gives a fuck, that's why therapists cost money, trust me
...breakups are hard, man, I sympathize completely
maybe you should try suicide, that's really kinda easy
it takes some practice to stay distracted from the naked fact
that she will never take you back, it's already fade to black
before you face the pain of really changing your life, though
let's celebrate the mistakes you could be making tonight, br
before we start it off, you should buy the bar a shot
or watch your party stop abruptly in the parking lot
I’m not a narc or cop, but this should probably end
cuz some people want to kill you, like, all of my friends
I bet you never tried getting high with high school kids
buying ‘em booze to awkwardly act like they like you...DICK
a few suggestions, bro, cuz you look like a dude with questions
and I don’t have a single fucking clue that you could get with
take the cougar in the Daisy Dukes back to the ladies room
while a bunch of other drunk and disgusting couples wait for you
that's what you need...a lady with a passionate streak
who can leave a patch of crabs across the back of your Jeep
...or maybe you'd prefer little Susie Lucifer
all she really wants is someone new to shoot up on the roof with her
either way, tonight's the night for a cheap mistake
so put the tab under Humpasaur Jones and keep the change...

dedicated to dudes out stalking their exes
that is bitchmade bullshit that cannot be respected
if you can’t live without her, you should probably end it
cuz you’re basically a waste of your Mommy’s investment
Track Name: Look Easy
I talk shit cuz it’s easy to write
at least easier than scenes from my life
at least easier than sleeping at night
when I keep feeding every demon I fight
so I keep bleeding but the dreams are alright...
...real shit is real hard to explain
I can see my human heart is insane
but I believe that you’ve been starting to change
trying to speak to you gets harder each day
but we persisted with our parts in the play
...I’m really into that monogamy shit
always dumb enough to want to commit
like love is nothing but a confidence trick
but I been dumb as fuck and cocky as shit
if I’m honest, that’s all that this is her wide eyes turning away
as she tries to hide the hurt in her face
that she didn’t have the words to explain
so until we give this burden a name
let’s keep pretending we don’t learn from mistakes...
gave each other just enough space to deny
the way we’re wasting our lives a single day at a time
like baby, it’s fine...just relax with me
zoned out with some mac and cheese and bad TV